If your child is having difficulty making friends at school, you may feel worried and unsure about how to help. Socialising and forming connections is an important part of childhood development, and when a child struggles to do so, it can be distressing for both parent and child. 

There are many reasons why this might happen, ranging from social skills development to more complex underlying conditions like autism. Understanding the potential causes can help you support your child in dealing with this challenge. 

In this article, we will explore some common reasons children may have trouble making friends, what signs to look out for, and how to help them improve their social experience.

Children develop social skills at different rates, and some may naturally take longer than others to form friendships. Making friends involves a range of abilities, including communication, empathy, and an understanding of social cues. For some children, these skills may come easily, while others may find them more challenging.

In many cases, a child may have difficulty making friends simply because their social skills are still developing. Younger children, especially in primary school, are learning how to share, take turns, and communicate effectively with their peers. If your child is shy, they may find it particularly hard to initiate conversations or join in with group activities.

Some children might be naturally more introverted, preferring to spend time alone or engage in one-on-one interactions rather than joining large groups. It’s important to recognise that these traits are not inherently negative, but they may affect how easily a child can make friends, particularly in a school setting where group activities are common.

Anxiety is another common reason children may struggle with forming friendships. If your child feels nervous about social situations, they may avoid them altogether or find it difficult to know what to say or do when interacting with others. Children who are anxious might also worry excessively about being judged or rejected by their peers, which can lead to withdrawal.

Low confidence can further compound these issues. A child who doesn’t feel good about themselves may believe they have little to offer in friendships, making it harder for them to take social risks, like starting a conversation or inviting someone to play.

Children who struggle to interpret social cues may find it difficult to connect with others. Social interactions rely on understanding non-verbal signals, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, as well as knowing how to respond appropriately. A child who misreads these signals might come across as awkward or uninterested, even if they want to make friends.

For instance, a child may not notice when their peer is upset or may struggle to gauge when it’s their turn to speak in a conversation. This can result in misunderstandings and make it harder for them to maintain friendships.

Another reason your child might be struggling to make friends could be due to bullying or social exclusion. Children who are bullied may withdraw from their peers out of fear or sadness, making it difficult for them to develop friendships. Bullying can lead to a loss of confidence and increase anxiety, which only further isolates the child.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, it’s vitally important to address the issue with their school and provide support at home. Open communication with your child is key to understanding what they’re going through and offering reassurance.

One potential reason your child may be having trouble making friends is autism. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects communication and social interaction. Children with autism often have difficulty understanding social norms, which can make it challenging to form and maintain friendships.

If your child displays some of the following signs, it might be worth exploring the possibility of an autism diagnosis:

• Difficulty understanding social rules or picking up on social cues.
• A tendency to focus on specific interests and struggle to engage in conversations outside those interests.
• Trouble with non-verbal communication, such as making eye contact or understanding facial expressions.
• Preferring routine and having trouble with unstructured social interactions, such as free play or group games

Autism is a spectrum, meaning children with autism may show a wide range of abilities and challenges. If you suspect that your child might be on the autism spectrum, an assessment from a qualified professional can provide clarity and help you understand what support your child may need.

KPI:Access offers comprehensive autism assessments, helping parents understand their child’s unique needs and how to support them effectively.

If you would like some more information, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us. A member of our team will be happy to answer any questions you may have.

While the reasons for social difficulties vary, there are several strategies you can use to support your child in building friendships.

One way to help your child improve their social skills is by providing opportunities for interaction outside of school. Encourage playdates, extracurricular activities, or community groups where they can meet children with similar interests. Smaller, more structured environments may feel less overwhelming and give your child a chance to practise socialising in a low-pressure setting.

You can also help your child develop their social skills through role-playing. Practise common scenarios, like introducing themselves or asking to join a game, so they feel more confident when these situations arise in real life. Teaching them to recognise and respond to social cues can also be beneficial.

Encouraging your child to pursue their interests is another effective way to help them make friends. Shared activities can create natural opportunities for connection, whether it’s through a sports team, a music group, or a hobby they enjoy. When children are engaged in something they love, they are more likely to find peers who appreciate the same things, making it easier to form bonds.

If you are concerned about your child’s ability to make friends, it may be worth seeking professional guidance. A professional can assess whether your child’s struggles are related to a developmental condition such as autism or ADHD and recommend strategies to help them navigate social situations.

At KPI:Access, we understand how challenging it can be when your child struggles to make friends. If you’re concerned that autism or another neurodevelopmental condition may be affecting your child’s social skills, we’re here to help. Our highly trained specialists, led by community paediatrician Chinwe Osuchukwu, have extensive experience diagnosing and supporting children with autism and ADHD.

We provide accessible and affordable assessments, allowing you to get the clarity and support you need quickly, without needing a GP referral. Our extensive assessments are tailored to understand your child’s unique behaviour and needs, helping you provide the best support possible.

If you’re concerned about your child’s social difficulties and are considering an autism assessment, contact KPI:Access today. A diagnosis can open up a world of support, providing your child with the tools they need to thrive. 

For more information, get in touch with our team. We’re here to help.